Thanksgiving Gets No Respect
by abracadabra94
Summary: Ranting and turkeys and Seddie, oh my! My  late  Thanksgiving Seddie story. The category says humor/friendship, but there's also quite a bit of implied/potential Seddie romance in there. One-shot.


**Warning: Extremely long author's note. I promise there is a story at the end. **

**For this story we are going to take a trip back in time. Far, far back in time. Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and The Rolling Stones were still young.**

**Okay, so not really that far. Two days actually. Yes, I'm talking about Thanksgiving, because that's when I should have put this story up. You see, I told myself I was going to try to update iPsychic by Thanksgiving. Alas, I had the tiniest bit of trouble writing the chapter, so instead of being persistent and trying my best, I gave up at the first sign of difficulty and haven't looked at the story again in oh…three or four days now. I think I have about half a page written for chapter three so far, and I'll probably change it completely before it's over with. Oh well.**

**So, trying to be the great writer that I aspire to be, I decided I'd do a Thanksgiving story for you guys. But I didn't have anything especially interesting to write about. Then, at my Grandma's house after Thanksgiving dinner (well, lunch actually), inspiration stuck. A moment between me and my little cousin inspired a suitable Seddie Thanksgiving story. I was so proud of myself. Despite my fatigue from my most recent bout of insomnia and the fact that I knew I only had a few hours of rest before some of my relatives would come over to watch me, my dad, my uncle, and my brother play our guitars together, I sat down and started writing. Unfortunately, I had difficulties with that story as well and soon gave up just like before. Luckily, that story didn't really **_**have**_** to be set during Thanksgiving, so I might go back later and write it for another holiday or just a random occasion. **

**Last night I was still feeling guilty for not writing you guys a Thanksgiving story. I mean, I already wrote a Halloween story and am planning on writing a Christmas story too. You see, I've been ranting lately about how people (mostly stores) started preparing for Christmas even before Thanksgiving came. I feel like no one cares about or respects poor Thanksgiving just because it's so close to the holidays that have presents. And by ignoring it in the world of fan fiction, I feel I am no better than 'The Man,' who went ahead and put up Christmas décor in my town around the middle of November. **

**That's when it occurred to me: I could write a Seddie story where Sam rants about no one paying any attention to Thanksgiving. I could both rant and free my guilty, turkey-filled conscience simultaneously. A chorus of "w00ts" filled my head and multi-colored, non-toxic confetti rained from the heavens as I celebrated my stroke of genius. Then I looked at my clock. 12:06 am. And I had work the next day. Okay, so actually I ended up not even going to work (yay for part time jobs, boo for insomnia and having two essays due shortly after I go back to school), but I didn't find that out until 7:30 this morning. **

**So I beg that you forgive the lateness of this story. If you will, just imagine that today is still Thanksgiving and that you've just finished a nice Turkey Day meal with your loved ones. You'd be surprised how forgiving one becomes when one does this, even after having to suffer through a ridiculously and unnecessarily long author's note just to read a flipping Thanksgiving story two days too late. **

**Oh, and if you haven't read my one-shot '5,4,3,2' you may want to do that now. There is a reference to that story in this story. Or you can just ignore my blabbering and get on with your life. Either way.**

**One more thing and then I'll leave you be. I don't know if people in Seattle drink sweet tea, but they do in the south, and they do in this story.**

**Disclaimer: Dan Schneider owns iCarly, and I'm convinced that Adam Sandler owns Thanksgiving. My name is Abby [insert last name here], and I own a small laptop and not much else.**

"Sam, Freddie, could you guys run to the supermarket down the street and pick up a gallon of sweet tea?" Carly asked as she and her brother busily prepared food in the kitchen.

"Nope," said Sam, remaining comfortably seated at her spot on the Shay's couch with her eyes glued to the TV screen. Freddie, who was seated next to her, didn't say a word. He was too absorbed in the MMA fight on TV that he claimed to only be watching because he 'liked sitting on the couch and knew that Sam wouldn't change the channel.'

"Let me rephrase that," said Carly, setting down the potato masher. "Spencer and I have been busting our butts all day cooking food so that we ALL could have a nice Thanksgiving, and you two haven't lifted a finger to help the whole time. All I ask is that you take time out of your busy TV watching to do this one little thing for me. Now get your lazy butts off the couch and go get some dang sweet tea!"

"Uuuggghhh. Why both of us? Why can't Bensonnerd over here go by himself?"

"Mmm?" said Freddie, briefly lifting his eyes from the TV. "Did someone say my name?"

"Spencer did." Sam pointed towards the kitchen lazily.

"What?" Spencer lifted his head from the cranberry sauce he was making. "No I didn't."

"Just go back to watching TV Frednub."

"Mmm." He turned his head back to the TV and resumed his blank-eyed staring.

"To answer your question," Carly said, "The turkey is almost done. And if you remember what happened last time you were around when I was carving the turkey…"

"Okay, okay, I got it. No need to relive that memory. I still have the scar on my thumb."

"I still can't believe you actually ate the turkey afterward."

"What's the big chizz? I picked around the blood. Anyway, I see your point. But why does _that_," she pointed her thumb towards Freddie, "have to come with me?"

"Please," said Carly, "like I'm going to trust you to bring a gallon of sweet tea back to my apartment without drinking half of it on the way."

"Actually, I doubt I'd stop at half…"

"Just go!"

"Go!" Freddie hopped up from the couch suddenly. "Go Jackson Colt! You can take him! Goooo!"

"Okay, fine." Sam groaned, ignoring Freddie completely. "No need to chizz yourself. Come on Frederly." She grabbed Freddie roughly by his wrist and pulled him towards the door.

"Huh? Where are we going?"

* * *

"Turn down that aisle Freddison. They've got to have sweet tea around here somewhere."

Freddie stopped pushing the cart for a moment so he could rest. "Remind me again why you have to ride in the basket of the cart?"

"Because," she explained, "I had to walk here and now I'm tired."

"I had to walk here too!"

"But I had to walk a further distance today to get to Carly's apartment in the first place."

"You slept over at Carly's last night! You didn't have to walk at all!"

"I didn't sleep over at Carly's last night."

"When I came over this morning you were asleep on her couch in the same exact position you were in last night when you fell asleep eating Fat Cakes and watching _The Return of Boogie Bear_."

"Coincidence."

"You were wearing the same clothes and were covered in Fat Cake wrappers. And the main menu to your _Boogie Bear _movie was still on the TV."

"Just steer Freddork. God, you're such a wimp. You know, most people don't have this much difficulty pushing a shopping cart."

"Well I wouldn't, but this store's carts are so old that the wheels barely turn anymore anyway. Add to that one aggressive blonde and nine boxes of Fat Cakes that we just _had_ to have, and it gets pretty difficult."

"Ah, quit your whining. Besides, these Fat Cakes _are _necessary. They're on sale! You're just lucky I stopped at nine. Now onward, Faithful Steed!"

Freddie looked like he was about to protest again, but then thought better of it and pushed the cart down the aisle that Sam had pointed to. The aisle had juice, crackers, cookies, cereal, and C batteries, but no tea.

"Well I give up," Freddie said in exasperation. "We must have tried every aisle in this store, and there's no sweet tea anywhere. Can we please ask someone who works here where the tea is now?"

"Sam Puckett doesn't ask for help! We'll find it eventually. Come on, I don't think we tried that aisle over there."

Freddie groaned but complied with her demand. The aisle was filled with twinkly lights, singing snowmen, shiny bulbs, and jolly Santas from end to end.

"Ugh!" said Sam. "Not these people too!"

"What's wrong?"

"Look around Freddiccini. What do you see?"

"Uh…a grocery store?"

"That's not what I meant Diphthong!" She reached up and flicked his forhead.

"Ow!" Freddie rubbed his sore forehead. "Well then what did you mean?"

"Christmas decorations, you idiot! The Christmas decorations!"

"What about them?"

"Freddie, do you know what today is?"

"Yeah, today's the twenty-fifth."

Sam gave him an incredulous look. "Remind me never to let you watch MMA again. Apparently it makes you even stupider than usual. I meant what _holiday _is today?"

"Thanksgiving?"

"Good boy. And do you see any Thanksgiving decorations?"

He looked around. "No."

"Exactly! Why is it that even before Thanksgiving is over, they go ahead and put up decorations for Christmas? It's like they go 'well Thanksgiving doesn't have presents, so let's just go ahead and put up Christmas decorations because Christmas matters more.' There's no respect!"

"Um…not to be rude…but why exactly do you care?" He braced himself for a brutal beating, but Sam only sighed.

"Because Freddifer, Thanksgiving is the one time of year when everyone gets to pig out on all the delicious food they can handle, and no one judges them for it. It's a really cool holiday, but no matter how cool it is, it's always overshadowed by Christmas. No one spends a bunch of time decorating for Thanksgiving. If anything, a lot of people look at it like it's some sort of burden that they have to make all that food for one lousy meal. They might end up enjoying the meal, but in the end, Thanksgiving always comes out second best. It never even stood a chance against Christmas's awesome presents and pretty trees." She actually looked a little sad.

"Wow Sam, I never knew you felt that way."

"Yeah, well, now you do."

"You know," he said, "You actually make a lot of sense sometimes. It kind of reminds me of your rant about me leaving off the number one during the iCarly countdown."

"But you haven't changed anything. You still leave off the one."

"No I don't." He smiled at her.

Sam gave him a questioning look. "Are you high?"

Freddie only laughed. "Come on. It looks like they don't have any sweet tea, so…"

"Sweet tea?" said a girl who looked to be in her mid-twenties. She was wearing the red vest that meant that she worked at the store. "The sweet tea's right over there." She pointed to a refrigerated aisle with several rows of drinks on it. At the very end were about a dozen gallons of sweet tea. Sam and Freddie both looked at the tea incredulously.

Freddie looked back over at the employee. "Oh, uh, thank you very much."

"No problem. Thank you for shopping at the Chickenly Wickenly." She gave him an obviously forced smile and walked away.

"Huh," said Sam as Freddie wheeled the cart towards the sweet tea and placed a gallon in the cart next to Sam. "Well what do you know? It was right there the whole time. I could've sworn that was the first place we looked."

"Uh huh. And who said we should ask for help from the very beginning?" Freddie smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Umm…oh will you look at the time! Carly must be wondering where we are. Come on Frudpus! To the cashier!"

Freddie rolled his eyes as he struggled to push the now extremely difficult cart to the check-out. He paid for the tea and Fat Cakes (with his own money of course) and took the grocery bags out of the cart. Sam looked at him expectantly.

"Well?" she said.

"Well what?"

"Well lift me out of the cart, doofus!"

Freddie set down the bags and carefully lifted Sam out of the cart. "As you wish Princess Puckett." Sam flicked his forehead again.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"Just 'cause," Sam smiled.

* * *

"Carlotta! We're back!"

"Hola Shays," Freddie said with some difficulty since he was carrying all of the grocery bags by himself.

"Hey," said Carly. "What took you guys so long? I was afraid you might have killed each other!"

"Nah," he said, setting the bags down on the counter. "We just had a little trouble finding the sweet tea. And uh…we had to stop for some…extras." He showed her the three bags filled to the top with jumbo boxes of Fat Cakes.

"Let me guess. Sam's idea?"

"Obviously."

"Well," said Spencer, "the food's ready. Are you children ready for an amazing Turkey Day feast?"

"Yep!"

"Shoosh yeah!"

"¡Sí señor!"

* * *

The food had been devoured and everyone sat around groaning at their full stomachs. Well, everyone except for Sam, who was currently opening up a Fat Cake.

"Oh, I almost forgot," said Carly. "We should all say what we're thankful for. It is Thanksgiving after all." A chorus of tired 'm-kays' sounded from the other three.

"Why don't you start, Carls?" said Sam.

"Alright. Well, I'm thankful for having two amazing best friends, and the world's best big brother. And I'm thankful that we get to do iCarly together. You guys really are the best, and I don't tell you that enough. I love you guys."

"Nice one, Carls. Snaps for Carlotta!" said Sam, and they all snapped their fingers for Carly's speech. "You're up Spence."

"Let's see. I'm thankful for my great little sister and her annoying yet oddly endearing friends. I'm also thankful that I only set fire to the turkey twice this year, and that it was still tasty despite the mild burns." Again everyone snapped.

"Alright, it's Momma's turn. I'm thankful for meat. And Fat Cakes. And that I don't have to spend Thanksgiving with Freddork's mom again this year. Turkey that's been vaccinated for the flu just doesn't taste the same. And I'm thankful for iCarly." Everyone waited. Sam sighed. "And for you guys too. You know that." She gave a crooked half-smile and everyone snapped, knowing that it was hard for Sam to express her feelings, but that she really did care about them a lot.

"Your turn Freddie."

"Okay. Well, I'm thankful that my mom let me have Thanksgiving dinner over here while she has to work at the hospital today. And even though her over-protectiveness drives me crazy, I guess I'm thankful for my mom too. Obviously I'm thankful for all of you guys. I may not be related to any of you, but I feel like we are a real family in our own weird, web-show making way." Carly, Sam, and Spencer started snapping, but Freddie interrupted. "Wait, one more thing. I'm thankful for Thanksgiving," he looked at Sam, "my favorite holiday."

"I didn't know Thanksgiving was your favorite holiday," said Carly.

"Yeah," said Freddie, still watching his blonde best friend as she devoured another Fat Cake. "Neither did I."

**Well there you go. Not much happened, but I was fairly pleased. Again, if you don't get the part about Sam ranting about how Freddie always leaves off the number one, you can find that in my one-shot '5,4,3,2.' I hope you enjoyed this story, and I hope you all had a great Turkey Day. **

**Oh, and I promise I'll update iPsychic ASAP…ish.**

**Later,**

**Abracadabra**


End file.
